Your Thoughts Are Everything
After working with hundreds girls and women (and some guys, too) over the past few years, I’ve come to realize that the biggest obstacle to their health and happiness isn’t so much their diet, their exercise routine, their disordered eating, their body image issues, their hormonal issues, their perfectionism or being obsessed with worrying about every little thing… nope, it’s none of that. In fact, those are the results of something else going on…
What is all boils down to is their thoughts. That’s it.
One thing that I’ve been really into lately (which I used to be WAYY into back in the day and it seriously changed my life for the better), is the idea of how our thoughts create our reality.
I know this might sound a little woo-woo to some people, but it’s the truth. I’ve seen this play out in my own life time and time again and the more I learn about this and understand it, the more I’m able to apply these principles and truths to my own life and experience amazing results.
So, my goal with this blog post (and many more to come!) is to introduce this concept, build on it, and get you to apply it to your life in whatever way you see fit. I really hope it’s helpful (and easy to understand) because once you get a grasp on this, wow, your life will be so much different.
Maybe you’ve heard of “The Law of Attraction” before or “Positive Thinking” or something similar to that. There’s lots of different names for this concept, but at the very core of it, they’re all talking about the same thing. On a very basic level, it’s just the truth that our thoughts (no matter what they’re about, no matter if they’re good or bad or neutral or whatever) will attract us to other similar thoughts, attract us to people who think similarly, and attract us to corresponding circumstances and situations. This is the same “law” that brings certain people together who have the same interests, beliefs, dislikes, challenges, hobbies, passions, etc. Likewise, you’re going to attract whatever you think about, talk about, and focus on the most.
Basically, “like attracts like.” And again, this goes for EVERY. SINGLE. AREA. OF. OUR. LIVES. Positive thoughts will produce/attract more positive thoughts, just like negative thoughts will produce/attract more negative thoughts. Filling your mind with happiness and gratitude (for WHATEVER your situation is) will bring about more peace and joy. Just like filling your mind with a lot of anxiety and worrying will result in more unhappiness and overall stress. Basically you’re going to get what you think about, it’s that simple.
Your mind is a magnet and it’s going to follow wherever you take it (or let it take you!) - Which is a the most important thing to understand about all this. Why? Because this “law” is working all the time with everybody, but most people don’t even realize it consciously! They’re running on autopilot all the time, just letting their thoughts go all over the place.
BUT, the good news is, you can consciously tap into this and start giving DIRECTION to your thoughts, which will eventually lead you to where you really want to go and who you really want to be.
Let’s break it down and use a simple example:
There’s two girls who are best friends, Susie and Debbie. Both girls are trying out for the cheerleading squad at school and they are EQUALLY TALENTED and QUALIFIED for the position - neither is any better than the other as far as skill, looks, etc. goes… but their mindsets and thoughts surrounding the whole thing are completely different.
First, Susie is stressed out about try-outs because she doesn’t think she’s good enough to win (although she’s actually super talented), she thinks she’s too ugly to be a cheerleader (although everyone around her tells her she’s beautiful all the time), she thinks she’s too fat (although she’s at a perfectly healthy weight for her body) - she just feels overall unworthy of ever succeeding in anything (because one time she failed an English quiz and she’ll never let herself forget it).
She’s constantly thinking these things and even when she’s around her friends and family she verbally says these things: “I just don’t know, I’m just not good enough to make it. I’m too fat and ugly, I’m not as good as all the other girls, I never win at anything.” These are the thoughts (and words) she’s constantly replaying both to herself and others.
All this negative thinking leads her to continually question herself in the weeks leading up to try outs and display themselves in full-force the day of. She ends up running late, rushes out the door, doesn’t have her outfit cleaned and ready to wear, and is super nervous during the entire thing. She isn’t smiling, she’s stressed, she keeps thinking about how her clothes are dirty and everybody is probably looking at her. Her mind is distracted the whole time, causing her to appear unconfident, sloppy, and not really know what she’s doing. What do you think happens? She doesn’t make the team.
Debbie, on the other hand, is also trying out for the cheerleading squad. But she goes about it in a whole different way. The weeks before tryouts, she wakes up in the morning and spends about 15 minutes imagining herself doing amazing. She’s happy, smiling, joyful, peppy, on-beat, and everything is flowing perfectly. She really believes she’s going to make the team and consistently speaks positively about the upcoming day.
She thinks about and tells others about how excited she is, how grateful she is for even having this opportunity, how much she loves cheerleading and how much she’s ready for the next steps. She always says, “Thank you!” when someone compliments her on her talent and if someone even insinuates something that could come across as negative, she doesn’t let it get to her at all - she’s too focused on all the positive surrounding the big day.
The night before try outs, she makes sure her uniform is clean and ironed, she gets in bed a few minutes early, and ends up waking feeling refreshed and energized the next morning. Since she went to bed a little earlier than usual, she wakes up a little earlier, giving her plenty of time to imagine/visualize how well she’s going to do, eat a healthy breakfast, and not rush out the door.
During tryouts, she’s smiling, appears confident & happy, hitting every beat, and has a ton of fun the entire time. This shows such a great impression to the coaches that she easily makes the team, it’s a no-brainer.
See the difference here? Two girls, same talent/looks/opportunity/etc. but totally different outcomes all based off their thoughts and words, which lead to their feelings, which lead to certain actions, which ultimately gave different results. It’s not magic.
You might be sitting there right now thinking, “Yeah, of course! This is all common sense!”
But is it though? Are you actually doing this in your own life? Think about a similar situation in your own life, in ANY area of your life: Your job, your relationships, your body image, your relationship to food, diet, exercise, health. What about with your friends, co-workers, kids, parents, school work, passions, goals, etc?
What are YOUR thoughts, words & attitude regarding those things?
I would almost bet that if you’re always positive, happy, grateful, thankful and excited about one of those areas of your life, then things are going pretty well for you with that, right? Let’s say when it comes to work, you’re always happy, thankful for your job, love your co-workers, make good money, positive about the future, and excited to go to work most of the time - my guess would be that you’re killing it at your job.. am I right?
And I would also bet that if you’re always negative, sad, anxious, depressed, worried, obsessed or stressed about one of those areas of your life, then things are going awful for you with that…right? Maybe it’s your body image and you’re always thinking and saying things about your body that are negative, you’re sad you don’t weight XYZ, you’re anxious about how others see you, you’re depressed and never want to get out of the house, you’re obsessed with counting calories and you’re stressed every time it comes time to eat food - my guess would be that you’re not in a good place mentally with how you look, right?
So, this truth literally spans across every single area of our lives. There is no way around it. What you think about (and talk about) is what you’re going to attract in your life, simple as that.
Now, there’s a WHOLE LOT more that goes into this: there’s ton of tips and tricks you can use, imagination/visualization techniques, affirmations or statements you can think and say, etc. (which I plan on diving into deeper in more blog posts), but this is just a basic intro to what it is and how it works.
The thing that I want you to get from this post today is that your thoughts are very powerful. You can think your way into something or out of something, it’s all in your control.
So, here’s something to work on until next time:
Become aware of the thoughts you’re CURRENTLY thinking about an area of your life that you want to change.
Realize that the reason your life is the way it is in that specific area is because of your thoughts surrounding it… that’s it!
Change your thoughts about that situation to be completely positive, more upbeat, happy, energetic, excited, thankful and grateful. And also change the way you talk about that situation with people around you - keep it 100% positive.
As you continue to do this every time this topic comes up in your mind, you’ll slowly start to see those old, negative thoughts dwindle away, as well as that old part of you go away, and a new you will start to emerge.
Remember, you’re going to be whatever you think you are and say you are. That’s how you got to where you are now - all those thoughts from the past lead you to where you are today in each specific situation. So, knowing that, if you want your life to be different in the future, start CHANGING your thoughts now, because those thoughts are going to be what makes you who are you in the future.
I hope this wasn’t too deep for you or over your head! It can be a little tough to explain sometimes, but stay tuned because I’ll be doing more posts about this topic in the future. I honestly can’t tell you how much of my life has been impacted with this and I hope it does the same for you!
Go have a great day and think GOOD thoughts!